We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
