I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
