Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
