I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize