nut hugger
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she told me i tasted like america
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
