YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize
