How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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