You're my little dorito
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
