He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I seem to have left my pride at pride
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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