marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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