honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
