Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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