Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize