She said her name was "party"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
