i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she woke up with a sticky ear
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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