do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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