Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
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He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
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Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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