I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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