I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
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