her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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