heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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