we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My vagina is very pro this idea
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
