like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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