meet me or not, i'm out of control
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
