the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I touched a dick in church today
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
