is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
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The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
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And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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