Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
