Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
