Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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