you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
