Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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