going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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