the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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