I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
