Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
