I am puke
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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