im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
