Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
