Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
