i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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