Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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