I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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