naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
