i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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