oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
