So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
