is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
