I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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