True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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