Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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