booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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