I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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