No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
