i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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