Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
