his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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