i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
