i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
